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The facts about Chuck
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
